MAKING EXCUSES FOR PEOPLE
Simply giving a benefit of doubt can solve, or prevent a huge misunderstanding. We all look, but the lenses through which we look make us view objects differently.
Brian is a very busy guy, and Jane knows that very well, but she decided to try anyway. "Brian" she called, "can you come take me out for lunch today?", Brian hesitantly agreed, then she said "ok come over when you get a call from me" and she hung up (with her eyes rolling), because in her heart, having Brian would be like the second coming of Christ. Continue..
Brian at the other end meant what he said, as a man of his words, but unfortunately there was this terrible network failure which made it impossible for Jane to reach Brian or Brian to reach Jane.
Now it's left for Jane to say with a hurting voice, "I knew he would disappoint me, but he could have just been a man and tell me straight up that he wouldn't make it, instead of turning off his phone",
or as well just wonder out of a clear mind the things that could possibly make him unreachable; network failure, low battery, lost or stolen phone, etc.
The lenses through which we see things determine our perception of a situation. Learn to look at situations from a clear mind or conscience, make excuses for people, not because people are always good but because the victim of a hurting heart is the one who is hurt, not the one who is inflicting the pain.
The clear mind will be your shield against hurting yourself, also helps maintain good relationship with people even outside official settings.
With that kind of mindset, when Jane finally sees Brian she would say, "so sorry I couldn't reach you, I think there was a network issue, or did something happen to your phone?" Instead of hurting herself by yelling.
Make excuses for people, call their mistakes character or temperament weaknesses.
Understanding various temperament will also help.
St Fahrenheit
Twitter: @StFahrenheit
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